At least that’s what one video game programmer wants you to believe.

It sounds crazy but let me explain.

I was sifting through my Google alerts (even they must know it’s Friday) as I usually do and was intrigued by a headline “Charles Barkley: Shut Up And Jam Gaiden”. I figured it was just a stray alert about the old 1993 Sega Genesis game, Barkley Shut Up and Jam. As pathetic as it is to admit I played and actually owned the game as a kid so I figured I’d check it out. I’m really glad I did.

Apparently someone with way too much time on their hands decided to create a “sequel” to that gaming masterpiece. You’re probably thinking “so what it’s another crappy basketball game based on an old crappy basketball game”. Well you’d b wrong in that thought.

The game is an RPG, Role-Playing Game (and you thought that was relegated to the bedroom), in which the world has been rid of all basketball players because of the invention of a thing called the “Chaos Dunk” which can kill millions of people if performed. Charles Barkley is one of the last remaining hoopsters and he must stay in hiding because he performed the first Chaos Dunk. He must face off in a battle to the death with Michael Jordan who is now heading the “B-ball removal department”.

Don’t believe me? Here is the actual description from the games creator:

The Great B-Ball Purge of 2041, a day so painful to some that it is referred to only as the “B-Ballnacht”. Thousands upon thousands of the world’s greatest ballers were massacred in a swath of violence and sports bigotry as the game was outlawed worldwide. The reason: the Chaos Dunk, a jam so powerful its mere existence threatens the balance of chaos and order. Among the few ballers and fans that survived the basketball genocide was Charles Barkley, the man capable of performing the “Verboten Jam”… Flash forward 12 years to the post-cyberpocalyptic ruins of Neo New York, 2053. A Chaos Dunk rocks the island of Manhattan, killing 15 million. When the finger is put on the aging Charles Barkley, he must evade the capture of the B-Ball Removal Department, led by former friend and baller Michael Jordan, and disappear into the dangerous underground of the post-cyberpocalypse to clear his name and find out the mysterious truth behind the Chaos Dunk. Joined by allies along the way, including his son Hoopz, Barkley must face the dangers of a life he thought he gave up a long time ago and discover the secrets behind the terrorist organization B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S.

I thought it was crazy enough that someone made this game but I decided to do a little research to find out more. In doing research I quickly found out that making the game wasn’t the craziest thing, the fact that it was an Internet phenomenon was.

There are numerous Internet reviews that find the game entertaining. A few take it even further calling it a “truly visionary project” (truly visionary? I can’t even make a joke for that), “play this game you’ll love it 9/10“and “Warning: This game is hilarious‘. I’m pretty convinced that my review would include the words “What”, “the”, and “hell”.

Along with the reviews there is a video trailer for the game, a wikipedia entry (which provides a complete synopsis of the games plot) and over ten pages worth of Google searches.

I really want to condemn whoever came up with this game for numerous things including having a strange obsession with both Charles Barkley and gaming but I can’t. The game is just so absurd that I have to respect the fact that it has gained a major following. I just wonder if Sir Charles knows about the game and how long until we can expect him to endorse the version for the PS3.